leader the follow

i'm realizing where exactly i stand in the midst of things.
well sort of.
not really.
i'm responsible.
people turn to me if they need something.
i'm looked up to.
its weird, i never considered myself to be the leader type.
i was always the follower.
now i've grown up and its time for me to go my own path.
its time my game reflected that.

no country for old men by ~arbebuk

even though part of me wants to get up and run
i know i can't.
some people depend on me.
it's great to feel needed.

but still. i just want to do my own thing.

reality or a scattered dream

shaper of dreams by ~Sea-of-Ice

I had something to write in this blog post.
i don't remember what it was.
so it must not have been that important.

in a lucid state of unconsciousness

i honestly believe that dreams tell us exactly what we think, but are to afraid to admit to ourselves.
wake up call right?
i had a dream the other night that involved a boy. and the dream was basically everything i thought but was afraid to admit.
and thus. here i am.

but then there is that rare occasion, when you know you're dreaming. that you're lucid. how realizing that there's no way a dinosaur can fit through a small hole made me realize i was dreaming baffles me that the fact a dinosaur wasn't the first tip off.

good morning to CAVTAT by ~littlemiss-something

so what does it mean?

perhaps its that i'm willing to believe in a dinosaur knowing its not real, but when a new element (the hole) gets added reality sets in and logic wins over emotion.

can't win them all

I use books just like any normal person would.
To live vicariously through the main character.
However, the more I read this book, the more depressed I get about my own life.
You don't spend hours talking to a fake person online. Only to meet someone and date them immediatly after that false world come crashing down. You don't have oddly meaningful conversations that involve physics in a flirty way. Musicals that are student written do not get that much attention. It just doesn't happen. There is no way I can believe anything about this book, which in turn gives me no hope.

Reading it, all I can think is life is nothing like this.

I mean I really got a lot out of Vast Fields of Ordinary. It didn't have that cookie cutter happy ending, the main character is easily relateable That's my life. One really good fun week, and it turns to shit the next. worst. luck. ever. no happy ending.
I'm fairly used to it now.

Maybe I should be more aggressive with approaching people or something.

Drunk Penguins by *Homicidal-Hectate

Sorry for the emo
#sorryimnotsorry


Its odd, even after all these emo blog posts and blah blah blahs. I still consider my self optimistic. Hmm something to think about I guess.

a bizarre case of jello

I'm at that point where I just don't know.
One minute things happen one way, the next you wake up and suddenly things change.
I say whatever. I deny that there are expectations. I refuse to see something more. Yet, I hope for more. Hell I want more. A monkey wrench is always thrown into the picture.

Even my dreams are trying to tell me that it's nothing. Funny how that happens right?

Beacons by *SnowSkadi

I'm starting to give up, because when you sit down and think about it. Yes its appealing but not worth it right now. I'm still going to hold onto that beacon of hope. If I don't who will?

routine

What a week.

Winning a bag of swag, free t-shirt, first all night drafting party of the year, a close shift the following day and then marathon.
I'm wiped out.
I need like 5 naps and another bottle of tequila.

Cannot wait to do the same thing this week.

All in all it's been a pretty fantastic week.
the only thing that can improve this week would have to be owning these headphones. then i'd be set for life.

Ninja Owl Headphones by *Bobsmade

responsible

MtG: Mentor of the Meek by *algenpfleger

When will I get a chance to have fun?
Is there an appropriate moment to talk about my problems?
Should the rest be on the back burner like I've been doing all summer?

I've taken the lead on a lot of things lately. Which is good I guess.
With great power comes great responsibility.



I don't even have time to sleep let alone worry about things.

It'll all probably catch up to me later. That will be fun.

a curious case

so much by ~jaymyccah

I've never been so flustered about someone.
It's not something I expected nor wanted.

whatever.

College is going well, I'm back in the swing of things. I feel so much better being out here and surrounded by my friends.

Everything's better here. I should have stuck to my original plan and just came to school earlier.

words, thoughts, responce

Young Justice by *doubleleaf

"I read your blog"
Thank you...?

"What does this mean"
If you have to ask, nothing.

"Could you clean this up?"
I can, must you remind me until I do?

"I like your style"
Thanks, I like to think I'm pretty fly for a white guy

"I want lettuce, onions...."
Do I need to repeat myself? I don't need to know that.

"They broke up"
Sweet. Wait, he's already "with" someone else? damn.


There's a difference between saying what you're really thinking and answering.

"I read your blog"
Oh cool, thanks.

"What does this mean"
It's nothing really, don't worry about it.

"Could you clean this up?"
Sure.

"I like your style"
Thanks, I like to think I'm pretty fly for a white guy.

"I want lettuce, onions...."
You'll just let them know all the toppings and sauces you want right down there.

"They broke up"
Wow. That sucks.

Used.

Was i used?
No.
Wait....
Maybe?
I just want some answers.

four eyes

I decided to be really cool and buy a pair of faux glasses. You may be wondering right now "why the hell did he do that?"

Well, I wanted them.

They seemed cool.

And I look like a total awesome nerd in them.

So I wear them everywhere now like the dork I am.



The funny thing about it, they are slightly tinted yellow. I'm not sure why, but some people believe they are real.


I'm down with that.

oh and did I mention they glow in the dark? because they do