[N]ot [Y]et [C]ertain

Here I am. I've spent three months so far living in NYC. This is what I can tell you:

I'm still not on the lease, nor do we have a copy of said paper. [insert thoughts on that here]
My current cost of living is around $960 a month. That doesn't factor in food.
My job pays at most half of what one of my roommates makes. [insert awesome feelings here]

Veil of Oblivion by jambi20

I've been reading some books about life after college, and how to be an adult. (the semi-proper way) And it's gotten me thinking a lot about my current life choices and where I'm going with all of this. This is what i've figured out:

I've questioned
my choice of moving to the city
I've questioned my choice of career, both currently in and what my degree is in
I feel so broke it makes me sick
My lack of social life is kind of depressing
I want a nice small cheap apartment. large enough to fit my stuff, but small enough where I can afford it.
I want to draw again. and get good at it. something with photography and anything artsy.
I want to learn more and continue to grow creatively.
I want a beach ready bod.
I NEED to stop being lazy and just do it.
Become better about my spending habits.

Well it's all a work in progress I guess. I'm determined to fix this. and I will.

23

today is my day of birth!

23 years old.

I've been looking forward to this birthday since i was like 19. I've just had really good feelings about it. and it seems that this is going to be the best year yet.

today was a great day all in all. which is a great thing considering birthdays 19-22 kinda fell short.

it's going to be a wonderful year.

23.

my attempt at a photobomb today. win.

oh brother

You MUST have seen your face by *viria13

growing up i've always wanted a sibling.
i've always imagined what it would be like to have a twin. switching places and all that fun jazz.

now that i'm home and with my parents like all the time, i've never wanted a younger brother more. someone who i can talk to about my parents, or even to just share those "wow, mom and dad are weird" moments with. or even someone who'd want to play video games or board games with.

maybe it's just because i don't have anyone to hang out with in chicago. not to mention most of my time is either spent at home or in a car.

a weighty outlook

I go to the gym now. AND I have a personal trainer. I told her my goal is to look like an abrercrombie model by summer.

Clearly not me, they're also Hollister Models, but it's still my goal body

 According to my trainer, I'm stronger and my arms look bigger. well would you look at that. looks like I'm accomplishing one of my resolutions.

She also asked me today if my friends are noticing. I laughed and said i don't have friends.  "So you wake up, come to the gym and then go home to be a hermit?" YUP basically. Then she said she'd hang out with me.  Isn't that nice. I feel like it would be weird. who knows. I just giggled and continued doing weight lifty stuff.

one day these words will reach you

happy birthday.
I mean it, and yet at the same time I don't.
There are few people in this world that I can trust will be there for me. No matter what happens, where I am, the distance between us, I'll always have them. You're different.
At one point we shared a common interest in our future. Now, I'm lucky to be included in your present. It's rough. Our lives are taking in us in different directions, to different parts of the country. I always hoped that we'd stay close no matter what. I've notice the drift last year, but thanksgiving is when that drift hit me.

Lilo and Stitch (And a smooch, oh my) by *Vilva

One day as you're sitting in your room cleaning out your stuff getting ready to move, you'll stumble upon a photo of us. I can't predict what will go through your head anymore, but i hope it's realization and sadness. Sadness that we haven't spent more than twenty minutes together, let alone talking in a very long time. Realization that this is one of those moments that we talked about doing together: moving somewhere fun.

To keep it simple; I hate that you didn't make an effort to hang out with me or talk to me after a year. Yet, I still miss your company.