[standby] distraction.

I don't know what words I
want to put down. But I figured if I start typing maybe they'll find their way to the page.

The Ocean Sky by ~desmondWOOT

It's been a really rough week and I don't even know why.

I keep messing up at work, with no reason behind it. I wish i had even the slightest excuse but there is none. It's giving me a serious case of self doubt, and just leading to more problems than I would like.

Nothing is helping really. My roommate's been an ear to listen, which is great, but at the same time he probably thinks I'm making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. Which granted, I probably am.

Then there are things I want to talk about, but not with anyone I know. For some reason I just don't trust anyone, not even you dear reader, with this information. Part of me feels like if i just ignore it, it'll go away. Not needed for discussion or anything. At the same time, it's a feeling I don't want to lose of give up on. People bring it up with me, unknowingly and vaguely, but it has been brought up.

There is a part of me that wants to tell Zach, he above everyone else has a right to know. We haven't talked in so long, and I don't know if I want written evidence of what I have to say. Still leaving me in a bind.

never realized blogger had a labels limit. i went way over and had to cut back. #roughtimes

straight up crushin

if there is anything more inconvenient than a crush, it's a crush on a straight guy.


i think that about sums it up. you don't need to know more than that. because honestly, i don't really know myself. I'm 80% sure i'm just crazy, and 5% crushin. the last 15% is that awkward I don't really know what you're doing but i like it so let's continue.


if anything, i feel like i'm going through a right of passage as a gay guy.

ever since i came to terms and accepted who i was, i became proud of the fact that i didn't have weird crushes on any of my straight friends. but i guess it had to happen sometime right?

One With the Birds by *Kiwa007

a foolish april

what a lame day today was. it was super cold outside, after a glorious weekend of 50 degree weather.
I got no work done.
I got emails about updates on the work that i've yet to complete.

The boy who loved heights by =nuriko-kun

I just feel a little lost.

I'm still struggling with the idea of moving to NYC.
I'm worried about finding design work.
I'm worried about having a job. income. taxes. all grown up stuff.


Being at home right now feels like summer vacation. only without the perks of friends and warm weather. Which I think is a leading factor into my laziness. Old habits die hard.