[standby] distraction.

I don't know what words I
want to put down. But I figured if I start typing maybe they'll find their way to the page.

The Ocean Sky by ~desmondWOOT

It's been a really rough week and I don't even know why.

I keep messing up at work, with no reason behind it. I wish i had even the slightest excuse but there is none. It's giving me a serious case of self doubt, and just leading to more problems than I would like.

Nothing is helping really. My roommate's been an ear to listen, which is great, but at the same time he probably thinks I'm making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. Which granted, I probably am.

Then there are things I want to talk about, but not with anyone I know. For some reason I just don't trust anyone, not even you dear reader, with this information. Part of me feels like if i just ignore it, it'll go away. Not needed for discussion or anything. At the same time, it's a feeling I don't want to lose of give up on. People bring it up with me, unknowingly and vaguely, but it has been brought up.

There is a part of me that wants to tell Zach, he above everyone else has a right to know. We haven't talked in so long, and I don't know if I want written evidence of what I have to say. Still leaving me in a bind.

never realized blogger had a labels limit. i went way over and had to cut back. #roughtimes

artistic stile

i've done some thinking. after a few days of panic and laziness, i've set up some reasonable goals and timelines for myself.

which may help me figure out where i want to be a year from now.
-i'm going to sketch everyday. something personal/ not work related
-go to the gym everyday. i want to look awesome this summer
-teach myself new techniques in painting.
-start making my comics again.
-just make the art like that which i'm inspired by. so i can stop wishing i could be more like that person, and actually get creative.
-spend more time downtown. out of the house even, but downtown is so much cooler than irwin park. lemme tell you.
-attempt to blog at least 5 times a week (i'd say everyday, but we've seen how well that's worked out)

it's fool proof! (even if I may revert to my old ways in like a week. here's hoping i don't)

and one day i'll score someone like stiles.

a boy can dream can't he?